The room's filling up with bums on seats,
The buzz of anticipation.
You're here to teach us something new,
To help us with this "education".
But you ruined it early, the barriers rose,
You went in over our heads.
You uttered those words and they went down,
Like balloons filled up with lead.
So, to help, I have got a challenge for you,
Accept it if only you dare.
To enable you to keep all us teachers on board,
To help us engage with what you share.
Next time you deliver this CPD,
In front of a group of teachers,
Please don't use words like "OfSTED" or "Gove",
Or "Good with outstanding features".
For that's not the reason we do this job,
It's not why we turn up each day.
Not for men in smart suits, who sit behind desks,
And receive more than triple our pay.
They judge us and say that we're falling behind,
And they push us and push us until...
Half of us leave before our sixth year,
The rest of us - still climbing uphill.
You see, the reason you find us here,
For your "inspirational" CPD.
Is because of 30 kids we spend quality time with,
Monday to Friday, 9 'til 3.
We're here to help them succeed in life,
In whatever way that may be.
We do this by knowing them inside-out,
It's about individuality.
Those "above" don't know what we really do,
Just what we achieve day-by-day,
With the children in our classroom family,
Not a number, to us, they're a name.
So if you really want to keep our attention,
Try this next time you come here:
Start with the kids at the heart of this job,
That way, you might get a cheer.